By Ashleigh McHugh
I was 20 years old, in my final year of the Bachelor of Nursing course and keen to continue studying midwifery the following year when I discovered I was pregnant. My relationship with my partner broke down shortly after and he chose not to have anything to do with us. Luckily, I was living at home with my parents and brother of whom were tremendously supportive and excited about the new arrival.
I was eager to investigate my birthing options, but living in a rural community it seemed a hospital birth was my only option until a friend of mine told me about a local private midwife, Victoria Jones. I contacted her soon after and we discussed my birthing options. I really wanted a water birth but Victoria informed me that the local hospital did not have a policy for water births and that therefore they didn’t allow it. I was extremely disappointed until Victoria explained that she does home births. In all honesty, I was hesitant at first after finding out that independent midwives do not have indemnity insurance, however after our initial meeting I was positive that a water birth at home was for me. I knew at this point that it was the best start I could give my baby - a smooth transition into the world.
I chose to find out what I was having and was delighted to know I was expecting a boy. I remained very healthy throughout my pregnancy and in the weeks preceding his birth I prepared my body using raspberry leaf tea and the Epi-no which is a device that stretches the perineum. In addition, the week before his birth I had used evening primrose oil on the cervix to soften and prepare it - apparently this worked!
Ashleigh labours in the pool
So it was 3 weeks after completing my university course and 11 days before my due date when my little boy decided to arrive. It was Friday the 31st of October and I was supposed to go in to help my mum at her coffee shop. When I woke up at about 9:00am, I had initially though I had wet myself and ignored the idea that it might have been my waters as we certainly weren’t expecting an early baby. I was still enjoying being pregnant and assumed I would go over my due date.
I sat at the breakfast table with mum, my brother James and his girlfriend Elle, not mentioning anything to them. However, a couple of bites into my weetbix I felt the need to go to the toilet again, followed by a trickle down my leg as I ran up the hallway. Sitting on the toilet and realising the reality of what was starting to happen, I called mum from the kitchen and told her I wouldn’t be able to go into work. Her confusion and concern was quickly taken over by excitement as I told her we would have a baby sometime soon.
There was a buzz of anticipation and enthusiasium by everyone, but I remained calm and relaxed as I expected this to be a long and lengthy process, presuming my baby would arrive the next day. For this reason I encouraged mum to go to work but she refused to go as she wanted to stay with me for the early part of labour. We rang Victoria and although I didn’t need her to come around, she said she would drop in on her way out to lunch to listen to the baby’s heart rate and see how I was going.
Ashleigh and Victoria share a quiet moment
James and Elle went out for the day so that I had more privacy and mum and I relaxed at the table as I sorted through pregnancy photos and wrote a list of things for dad to bring home that afternoon - all the essentials like phone credit, a frozen coke and non-alcoholic champagne to celebrate with after the baby’s arrival. When Victoria arrived at 11:00am I was only experiencing mild cramping as I had for the few weeks beforehand. We confirmed with the amnicator that I was leaking amniotic fluid so there was no turning back. The baby’s heart rate was great and it was at this time when I started to feel the discomfort intensify. Although I didn’t mention anything, Victoria had said to mum that I looked scared - this was probably the point where I realised that I was actually going into labour and had a long journey ahead of me.
Once Victoria left for lunch, I set up in front of a music DVD and mum began making pikelets because we were predicting a long wait. However, only a couple of songs later I was rocking on the fit ball on my bed and noticed a pattern of contractions every 8-10 minutes. I made a conscious decision to remain forward facing and upright as Victoria’s palpation found that the baby was slightly lateral and I surely didn’t want him to turn posterior. Mum and I began setting up our labour equipment in the wide hallway beside the bathroom where I had planned to have the birthing pool. We used my labour aromatherapy blend which included clary sage and myrrh to stimulate and enhance contractions. I pulled out my birthing affirmations and read one: ‘I welcome my labour as the perfect one for me and my baby,’ needless to say I never had a chance to look at any more.
After everything was in order I returned to the lounge room floor swaying and rocking on the ball with the contractions as they increased in intensity after having walked around. It was around 1:00pm and I was at the stage where I needed the TENS machine but unfortunately I was experiencing all my discomfort in the front, so the TENS didn’t help. Mum prepared hot nappies for my tummy which were an incredible relief. I still didn’t want to call Victoria as I was sure the birth was a long way off - I was expecting him to arrive overnight or the next day. Mum was an unbelievable support as she knew just what I wanted; she had everything ready and was present for every contraction, leaving only to grab things that I needed.
By 2:00pm the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and becoming stronger, mum wanted to call Victoria but I insisted on waiting. However after a couple of contractions I changed my mind. I thought about how I would judge the situation if I were the midwife and considering I was unable to speak during contractions, swaying, rocking and becoming vocal, I thought it would be best for Victoria to come around, even just to observe me and decide whether she should stay. As I began to fade away into focusing on my relaxation, mum called dad, inflated and began filling the birth pool. I had previously felt it would be bad luck to do this before I was sure that I was past the ‘half way point’, but fortunately, mum began doing this without me realising.
Victoria and dad arrived simultaneously at 3:00pm, dad slipped into the background and I hardly noticed his presence as he quietly assisted behind the scenes. Victoria observed a few contractions and was in absolute shock that I was the same person she had seen 4 hours earlier. She suggested I hop into the birthing pool but I didn’t want to until she had checked that I was at least 5 cms dilated to prevent slowing the labour. I was apprehensive about this because I didn’t want to be disappointed if I was not progressing, however Victoria insisted that I was probably further along than I thought. On examination she declared I was already 7cms! I loved those words and felt a sense of achievement and relief. I just about jumped up and dove into the pool but as soon as I was upright and on the toilet I felt a deep intense contraction that almost scared me. Victoria calmed me and reassured me that it was just gravity working and that the pool would help. She was right - I got in the pool about 3:30pm and it was instant relief. I had stripped naked, become uninhibited and didn’t notice the fuss and commotion that was happening around me. Dad prepared the video camera in the corner and mum stayed with me through the contractions while Victoria set up her equipment. James arrived home and sneaked up the hallway, hiding in his room until after the birth.
My time in the pool seemed to flash by in an instant. Between contractions I was still, hands unclenched, jaw relaxed and body unbelievably motionless. There was not a ripple in the water and the room remained silent and almost tranquil. During contractions was a different story - I was thrashing about in the pool like a dying fish but looked more like a crazy whale. I moaned and groaned from areas of my lungs I didn’t know existed. They were deep primal noises that were powerful and loud. After an hour in the pool my moans became more productive and Victoria asked if I had the urge to push. I didn’t feel it initially and it wasn’t until after a few contractions later that we realised I had been pushing, almost involuntarily for some time. It was about 20mins of this pushing on my knees, leaning over the pool holding mums hand when I touched between my legs and felt his head. I asked Victoria to sit behind me and guide my pushing as I couldn’t see for myself. During this last stage it was a relief to push through the contractions and feel the progress. Mum recalled that although I was holding her hands I was not squeezing them - all my effort was focused on birthing my baby.
Darcy, newly born
I listened intently to Victoria’s guidance and after a few pushes, his head was out followed by his vernix covered body. He was passed through my legs and I sat back, bringing him onto my chest. Darcy James Oliver McHugh was born into water at 5:04pm with his proud grandparents looking on. We enjoyed long moments of cuddles, bonding and exhaustion as Darcy experienced his calm transition into the world. He was so relaxed that he didn’t cry, just a small whimper and back to sleep. Given that he was also covered in vernix and his skin tone was difficult to see but slightly blue, Victoria gave him some oxygen which improved his colour. He still didn’t cry, but was breathing well and just happy to be in the warm arms of his mummy. We wiped the vernix from his eyes, he gazed at me and we soaked each other in. It was the most intense emotion I had ever felt but couldn’t and still can’t find the right words for it.
After a few contractions, the placenta came away and was delivered into the water - still attached to Darcy. I cut his cord, signifying his entrance to the world as his own little person. Following this we had a quick breastfeed and shared a shower together to get rid of the excess vernix.
Darcy takes his first look at the outside world
Nanny, Poppy and Uncle James then shared cuddles with the newest addition to our family and we celebrated his birth day with champagne and pikelets in bed. My labour and birth really was perfect - I never once wanted pharmacological pain relief as I viewed my contractions as necessary for my baby’s birth - they were an integral part of the transition into motherhood and I could only accept the pain rather than fear it. I couldn’t have done it without my incredible parents and amazing midwife, Victoria.